I often describe myself as being “Anne-ish”. For those who have never read L. M. Montgomery’s Anne of Green Gables (you poor deprived souls! ^o^ ) and subsequent books, I will explain a little of what that means in the context of this particular post. It means that I am the type of person who gets very optimistic and excited about plans I have made. “This and this I’ll do, and it will turn out so well! Oh, and then this might happen! I can see it all now. This plan is amazing, it’s going to be so much fun!” And then, if things don’t work out the way I’ve planned them, it almost breaks my heart. Sort of like gliding blissfully through the sky, then suddenly having the wind drop out from under you and plummeting head first into the mouth of an active volcano.
In other words, I tend to take my failures very hard.
Considering the general consensus that a career in writing is bout 80% dealing with failure and rejection, I realize that I’m in for a tough time. In fact, sometimes I think to myself, “What the hell am I doing?”
Aaaaaaaand of course all of that is really just me trying to put off admitting that I failed to make my May 15th deadline for Romaine. *sigh* Even worse is the fact that I didn’t even come close to making it. I am probably halfway done, at best. I can’t really do better than the crashing into a volcano analogy without getting seriously dramatic, so suffice to say that I am very upset with myself right now.
On Wednesday night, I actually turned to my Scholar and said,”I’m going to miss my deadline, and I’ll never be a writer!” And burst into tears.
So what is the point of this post? I am certainly not giving up all hope, calling it quits, or anything like that. Mostly I am just trying to give an honest portrayal of me, striving towards my dream. In case anyone thought that following your dreams happens in some sort of magical state of perfection, cuddly bunnies, and absolutely definite victory… it doesn’t. Well, not all the time anyways. ^-^ Sometimes it happens like this. *points to agonizing failure chronicled above*
That being said, it’s rather unbecoming for a grown-up woman to wallow in self-pity for longer than a few days. Life goes on, and you can’t give up! So, here’s my plan:
Firstly, I am going to go to the coast with my wonderful husband for the weekend, to celebrate our first anniversary, and I’m going to ENJOY IT! ^-^ I’m not going to write anything at all, unless I want to. Secondly, on Tuesday I am going to sit down and write a list of reasons why I didn’t make my deadline, and what I can do to try to avoid that in the future. Lastly, I am going to finish Romaine ASAP, so that my editor doesn’t tan my hide and hang it on her shed, ala “Tie Me Kangeroo Down“. ^-^
I’ll see you all on Tuesday!
If you have any comments, questions, or would just like commiserate on horrible deadline fails, go ahead and leave a comment. (The comment button is actually at the top on this theme.)